Lifestyles and Identity Maintenance Among Gay Japanese-American Males Wayne S. Wooden, Ph,D. California State Polytechnic University, Pomona
Harvey Kawasaki University of California, Los Angeles
Raymond Mayeda California State University, Long Beach
ABSTRACT: A n exploratory s t u d y of thirteen Japanese-American gay men residing in the Los Angeles area found t h a t those men who had disclosed their sexual orientation to family members were more likely to express more positive atLitudes concerning a variety of issues. Detailed personal accounts of these p a t t e r n s are presented along with discussions of how Asian homosexuals m a i n t a i n their "double-minority" identities as b o t h J a p a n e s e and gay.
Thirteen {of thirty-two contacted) gay Japanese-American males in the Los Angeles area, located by a variety of means, who were willing to complete a lengthy questionnaire, provide data for some preliminary exploration of "doubl~minority" identity-maintenance. In addition, comments from three (of twenty-two) JA's in San Francisco and two (of fifteen} JA's from Hawaii are also discussed in this study. "Double-minority" means those individuals who maintain an ethnic identity as Japanese-American and who also maintain a sexual orientation identity as homosexual. Respondents from the Los Angeles sample ranged in age from 18 to 42 {mean age was 29}; three were Nisei (second generation}, nine Sansei {third) and one Yonsei {fourth). None had working class jobs, and all had attended college {four had completed some post-graduate education and six others were college graduates). All had more education and higher occupational status than their fathers. Political involvement. Eight men (52 percent) from the LA sample reported no Asian community political activity, five reported some, and none reported being very involved. Nine reported never attending 236
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Third World events, three sometimes, and one often. Similarly, eight reported no gay political activity. Five of the seven who were " o u t " to family members were somewhat involved in Asian political activity, compared to none of those who were not open about their homosexual lifestyle with family members (p. < 01). Although not statistically significant, those who were out to family members were more politically involved in the gay community (57 percent) than those who were not {of whom 17 percent were only somewhat involved politically). Social Activity. In contrast, most (8) frequented gay establishments, and all the others at least some times went to them. Nine knew more than five other gay Japanese-Americans. The two youngest individuals did not know any other gay Japanese-Americans, and two other (young) respondents knew only one. All the others indicated they had at least five gay friends who were not Japanese-American. Thus, while younger men reported having fewer friends, J A and not, none characterized their friendship network as all gay Asian or all gay nonAsian. Nine of the thirteen were in a lover relationship, six of these of more than a year's duration (another indicated he had been in one that lasted seven years). Experiences in "coming out". Nearly half of the respondents reported experiencing their first homosexual feelings in their early teens with the others experiencing such feelings in their late teens or early twenties. Their initial reactions to these feelings varied widely with most (61 percent) mentioning feelings of fear, apprehension and guilt: • Probably a b o u t 14 years old. I was unsure and insecure, and I felt lonely and different from m y peers. • I was 13 years old. No awareness of its oddity; however, I enjoyed the closenes of a male companion moreso than a female companion. There were more experiences to enjoy on an equal level with men. • At age twenty. I first thought of it as a phase. Second, I must be the only one that's a homo, the only Japanese homo. Third, I will somehow correct this problem. Reactions in general were negative and I felt unsupported. • I was in high school. I was extremely curious about Caucasian men, b u t being in a clos~knit family environment, it was difficult to meet a Caucasian man and have a relationship with him. However, once these feelings of apprehension were overcome, the majority of the respondents indicated a variety of approaches in finding out more about the gay lifestyle.
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• I bought an issue of the Advocate (a gay newspaper}, found a bar, went to the bar, and met someone immediately who mentioned a 'rice bar.' I went to this 'rice bar' twice and met m y present lover the second time I was there. • I decided to pursue this strange ghost in me when I discovered it. I told a friend who I thought was gay to take me to these strange places. • Coming out was not easy. Even now I still feel that I am in the process of coming out. M y support was a crazy flamboyant queen who said 'the Waldorf [a black g a y bar] is not for you, honey!' and showed me other areas of interest. • Coming out was a very simple, fluid process for me. I made several gay friends at college and with these friends, I discovered West Hollywood. I never experienced any really bad feelings, only some guilt now and then. Actually, 'coming out' was great fun! • M y coming out was experienced with a very responsible and much respected friend who later became m y lover.
Disclosure to friends and family members. All b u t one of the respondents indicated having "come o u t " {see Dank, 1971; Cass, 1979} to their friends. Comments included: • Yes, I told them I was gay. They were supportive and understanding. Our friendship has been enriched by honesty and love for one another. It was total acceptance. • Yes, I told them that I ' m gay and I also introduced m y lover to them because it's important to me to share m y lifestyle to friends who I really feel close to. There weren't any strange reactions. They were really friends. • Yes, I had varied reactions. Some friends rejected me so I didn't bother with their prejudices. Recently a close straight friend spent a week with m y lover and said it was the best time he ever had. In contrast, only about half (7} reported being open a b o u t their homosexual identity with their families. Most of these men mentioned they first disclosed to a sister. Yes, m y sister was the first to know, and then m y brother. At first they denounced it. Now that I am a professional, they accept me much more.
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• Yes, I have come out to m y sisters. Their reactions have been positive and supportive, and I feel we have become closer b y my coming out. I have not come out to m y parents, yet! I need help on that! • Yes, I told m y older sister and she didn't approve b u t realized I had to do what I wanted to do. M y little sister is too young to know. I do not intend to tell m y parents ever. They would never understand and I would be disowned and denied seeing m y younger sister. • No, I don't feel it's necessary to throw it in their faces. • No, I don't intend to tell them because m y parents especially won't be able to face it. They have this image of me getting married and raising a family like they did. Although I'd feel much more comfortable if I did 'come out' to them, I haven't felt it necessary. • No, if asked, I will not lie. Obviously m y family must know m y story, because of m y friends, b u t they never ask me. Perceptions as to how gay Japanese-Americans are viewed by others. Respondents were asked how they felt gay JapaneseAmericans were perceived b y other Japanese-Americans and other g a y men. First, the former:
• M o s t feel that Japanese are never gay. • It's not even thought a Japanese-American could be gay. • Unheard of. • They are somewhat less permissive than other communities. G a y Japanese-Americans receive relatively little support; however, I feel this is changing. • I think the J A community tolerates homosexuality in other communities, b u t in their own c o m m u n i t y - - n o way! It is looked upon as being dishonorable and disgraceful. I do not feel these attitudes are changing at all. • I think they are against homosexuality and especially Japanese being homosexual. A t t i t u d e s are not changing. • I ' m an officer of a cultural group and the Board of Governors knows I am gay, and I am still supported. For the Japanese community as a whole, it appears that as long as nothing is said, there is no problem.
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Two Honolulu informants related their coming out to the attitudes they perceived being exhibited by their own ethnic group. Japanese don't seem to discuss sex or personal things with their children, although the family unit tends to be closely knit. Coming out was difficult, because I felt I was odd. I also felt that it was wrong and I would be a disgrace to the family. I feel this can be categorized into two classifications--attitudes of the first and second generations, and those of the third and fourth generations. I think those of the first and second generations are more rigid and non-accepting. They feel we are perverts and childmolesters. Those of the third and fourth are more accepting. Attitudes are changing. A lot of positive things are being said about the gay community, and this helps with the gay JapaneseAmerican being accepted by his/her friends, family, and relatives. Respondents felt that just as Japanese-American stereotypes of gay men impeded them, so did gay stereotypes about Japanese-Americans. • They believe we are predominantly feminine, have small genitals, are youthful in appearance, and are easy pickups. • They believe we are passive, docile, faithful, and responsible for more 'housewifey' jobs. • They see us as fitting the 'Madame Butterfly' role and that of the 'good oriental.' • They think of us as being polite, somewhat shy and secretive. • Their view is that Japanese only like Caucasian men sexually, and they associate femininity with being oriental. • I don't feel there are enough of us 'out' to rate a stereotype yet. • I don't think the gay community is acquainted with too many gay Japanese-Americans. In addition to perceived stereotypes, five men reported incidents of discrimination in gay institutions. For example: • I was denied membership to a club because 'membership was at the limit' but a Caucasian was sold a membership. • The gay community is just a micro community of the larger society. These prejudices transcend being gay. Even in selecting
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gay activities, one has to consider acceptable locations and the composition of the groups to be encountered. One respondent who reported never having experienced any incidents of discrimination personally, reflected: • I feel that ethnic minorities are discriminated against, although Japanese-Americans are probably better accepted than others because their nature and outlook are pretty much Americanized. Several respondents commented on what has been termed family achievement motivation as a source of special pressure (DeVos, 1973), which is especially acute on only and eldest sons. • It is difficult because of family expectations and social pressure--not so much from my parents but other relatives! There is enormous pressure to get married. • It is more difficult because of family relationships in Japanese households. Japanese are taught humility and being gay is often associated with shame. You tend to keep it quiet so you don't bring shame to your family. • It's a particularly touchy situation because I am the eldest son, and also involved in a family business. I hold a responsible position and I know my dad, in particular, is very 'traditional' in his way of thinking. I have an excellent relationship with my family and I want to prove to them that being gay doesn't mean that I'm sick or perverted. Attitudes towards "double-minority" status. While no respondent mentioned that being a "double-minority" makes it easier {in giving more practice) to challenge stigmas, only one respondent found the status currently difficult. He asked:
My problem stems, at times, from not fitting in with my own people. The question arises, which are my own people--Japanese or gay? In point of fact, the respondents felt that there were advantages in being both gay and Japanese. The majority felt that they were unique and special; they indicated being very comfortable with their lifestyle (all but two); and they felt proud and fortunate in being who they were.
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These feelings of pride were particularly true for those who were "out" to family members. • I feel I have deeper respect for friends, social rights, manners and ultimate career goals. • I feel I am much more principled and traditional when it comes to my set of values. • I am proud of being a J A and I'm proud of being a homosexual. But most of all, I'm proud of being myself. • I feel extremely fortunate, first of all, to be an American and to be allowed the freedom to express my sexual lifestyle as I please and to have avenues available for this expression in this country. I count my blessings continuously for being born an American. I also consider being of Japanese ancestry to be another asset as I know I am of a special minority.
Conclusion Although highly educated, even this sample of those men interested enough in the particular experiences of being gay Japanese-Americans to complete a lengthy questionnaire were not involved in political activities in behalf of either group. One respondent elucidated a lack of pre-occupation with special status that typifies even this self-selected sample when he stated: • I think it's unnecessary to categorize and label every little group of people within groups. These men viewed themselves as not being exotic although they clearly evidenced group consciousness (the essential basis for collective action}. In terms of the "gay identity-information model" (Cass, 1979}, these men reflected identities of "identity tolerance" and "identity pride," the third and fourth stages in the six-stage sequence. Their lack of gay political activism and their reservations about synthesizing all aspects of their identity through a more visible gay presentation of self, indicates the maintenance of a homosexual identity {which requires a predominant degree of "passing" as heterosexual} compared to a gay identity.
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At the same time as this research was being conducted, however, the first gay Asian organizations were forming in both Los Angeles (Asian and Pacific Lesbians and Gays} and San Francisco (Gay Asian Information League, Asian Lesbian, and Gay Asians}, so quiescence may change in the coming years along with possible erosion of family bonds. Pointing the way, also, to the possibility of a more political stance in the future is the formation of the Lesbian and Gay Asian Collective which was formed at the first National Third World Lesbian and Gay Conference held in 1979. Moreover, the situation evidenced in our preliminary research in Honolulu and San Francisco, where a "critical mass" can more feasibly coalesce, suggests differences from the scattering of Japanese-Americans in the vast expanses of Los Angeles. Reference Note A version of this paper was presented at the 1982 annual meetings of the Pacific Sociological Association in San Diego. The authors would like to acknowledge helpful comments from Keelung Hong, Stephen O. Murray, and Sharon Raphael.
References Cass, V.C., "Homosexuality Identity Formation: A Theoretical Model," Journal of Homosexuality, 1979, Vol 4 (3), Spring, 219-235. Dank, B. "Coming Out in the Gay World," Psychiatry, 1971, 34, 180-97. DeVos, G., Socialization for Achievement (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1973).